Rik and I want to share with you something that we wrote in honour of our Freddie.
We had hoped to write something for his funeral but ran out of time so when Tania Shires from the local Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) charity asked us to do a reading at the Lights of Love carol service, we knew that this was our opportunity to finally write something special to read out for Freddie.
‘Dear Freddie from mummy and daddy’ is written by us both and is several short one line letters to Freddie. It is written in a way that suggests Freddie has not gone from our lives forever but is merely off on a journey. We were worried it was a bit self-indulgent for the service but hoped that those attending would relate to it, or at least parts of it.
Here is our special reading for Freddie, hope you like it.
Dear Freddie from mummy and daddy
Dear Freddie I hope you don’t mind us writing to you but you’re not here you see. (N)
Dear Freddie I know you can’t respond, but you don’t need to, I know you can hear us. (R)
Dear Freddie I was expecting you but you left before I could say hi. (N)
Dear Freddie I cherish the time we had together, speaking to you in your home. (R)
Dear Freddie I am sorry mummy and daddy raised their voices during your last week here. (N)
Dear Freddie I know that you love us, there is no doubt of that. (R)
Dear Freddie I hope you are enjoying your new home and not making too much of a mess. (N)
Dear Freddie I know your home here was ready, but you had to go somewhere else. (R)
Dear Freddie I keep finding things of yours all around the house that you left behind. (N)
Dear Freddie I know that just like your Daddy you love to dance. (R)
Dear Freddie I cried the last time I saw you, I should have smiled – I apologise. (N)
Dear Freddie I rocked you when I held you, it felt like the most natural thing to do. (R)
Dear Freddie I’ve been telling lots of people about you, they all send their love. (N)
Dear Freddie I can’t believe the amount of people your short time here has affected. (R)
Dear Freddie I wish you could be here as we are all missing you terribly. (N)
Dear Freddie I wish you could have stuck around, you know we would have had so much fun. (R)
Dear Freddie I want you to visit us, your aunties, uncles, cousins and grandparents again very soon. (N)
Dear Freddie I wonder what you would have been, a fireman, a doctor, a dancer maybe. (R)
Dear Freddie I’ve been looking out for you and I think I may have seen you a few times. (N)
Dear Freddie I cherish our time together but some days are tougher than others. (R)
Dear Freddie I’m keeping myself busy but I am always thinking of you and your new friends. (N)
Dear Freddie I bet you are being well looked after, that’s my boy. (R)
Dear Freddie I really hope you will be a big brother one day, a job I know you will be great at. (N)
Dear Freddie I know this hole will never be filled, my longing will never pass. (R)
Dear Freddie I know how hard you fought to meet mummy and daddy, we are so proud of you and love our brave angel very much. (N)
Sleep tight. (N and R)
Written and read by Nicole & Rik Bromley in honour of Freddie Leigh Bromley.
The Lights of Love carol service held last night at Forest Church was the second of its type. It is a non-denominational candlelit service of carols and readings, lead by Rev Linda Le Vasseur, to honour our loved children who are no longer with us, before we celebrate Christmas. Eight other Lights of Love services took place simultaneously in Huddersfield, London, Stirling, Nottingham, Portadown, Cardiff, Norwich and Liverpool.
It was the first time we had attended this service and we were overwhelmed by how special it was. Hundreds of candles were placed around the church lit for our loved ones. You were able to write a personal message and hang it on a Christmas tree surrounded by candles. This tree would stay in the church throughout the Christmas period and tags could be added by visitors to the church.
The service included eight readings and six carols plus Aindre Reece-Sheerin singing Gabriel’s song, a circle dance performed by the Guernsey Circle Dancers to Berceuse and Kim Spaargaren singing at the end. Everyone that attended received a Lights of Love Christmas tree decoration and was invited to light a candle in memory of loved ones.
Attending this type of service is not only a time to think about lost loved ones but to feel safe with a group of people who understand what you are going through. It was truly special and I look forward to attending next year.