Day 13: Book (Capture Your Grief 2013)


Day 13 of Capture Your Grief (in memory of Freddie Leigh Bromley) and the subject title today is ‘Book‘.

This book has a massive significance for me.  It is a bump to birthday book which my sister gave me shortly after we announced our news.  I filled it in religiously every week and is my cherished book for Freddie.  I am so glad I took the time to record every kick, hiccup, antenatal appointment, scan, craving and contraction.

At Freddie’s funeral I placed it on a table for family to read so they could learn more about Freddie’s life inside me.  They loved looking through the bump and scan pictures and reading my entries.  I won’t lie reading some of them now is upsetting, especially feeling the hope and excitement as the estimated due date approached.

I don’t want to quote the last entry in the book as it is just me complaining about feeling a bit rubbish recovering from a cold but I did want to share the entry which I have since written about his birth.

“On Friday 16th August the most beautiful thing in the world entered our lives – you. Although you were taken from us before we could meet you face to face, we all knew each other. You had spent nine months inside me growing and getting used to our voices.  You would be playful after something cold or late at night when I was trying to get to sleep.  You were naughty and would stop kicking for daddy when he put his hand to you.  

I will never forget how you entered this world or the warmth and weight of your body being placed upon my legs.  For just a few seconds it felt like you were really with us.  You were so beautiful – perfect.  We would have had such fun getting to know you and keeping you in line.  

Your feet and hands were so long and you had two little dimples under your bottom lip. You looked so peaceful.  We loved holding you and stroking you wrapped up in our blanket.  Daddy instinctively rocked you in his arms which was simply adorable to watch.  Your memory will be cherished forever.”

I wrote the book for Freddie to read when he was older.  I will continue to complete it with stories about how we honour him on his first Christmas and Angelversary for his sibling/s to read one day in the future.



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