Day 2: Identity (Capture Your Grief 2013)

Identity
Identity

Day two of Capture Your Grief (in memory of Freddie Leigh Bromley) and the subject title today is ‘Identity‘.

I knew straight away what encapsulated this word for me about Freddie and that was the first item he ever had representing his identity – his hospital name tag.  He was given a name tag but we were also able to take another name tag home with us so Freddie never wore this but it is what it resembles to me that makes it so special.

As you can see on the front it says ‘Baby – Freddie Leigh Bromley DOB: 16.8.13 @ 2227’ and on the reverse it says ‘Parents – Nicole & Richard’.  The word ‘parents’ is so nice to read as when you lose a baby you have to keep reminding yourself that although I don’t have a baby in my arms, can’t go to parent and baby classes or protect my baby as a parent would, I will be his parent until eternity.  I have photographed the name tag on a blue blanket which had been bought in preparation for his arrival.  This blanket is so special to us as it was used to wrap Freddie up the night he arrived and has touched his skin.

We only knew that this was definitely going to be his name probably a few months before he arrived.  It had started of as a nickname previously as when we announced that we were expecting we referred to the baby being either a ‘Fred’ or a ‘Ginger’.  Then at 20 weeks when we found out the sex we announced to the family that we were having a ‘Fred’ and as time went on he was referred to as Freddie.  Rik & I then found ourselves really growing to the love the name and also found it hard to call him anything else but this.  We had pretty much settled on the name but kept it a secret from the family as we wanted to make sure it suited him when we saw his face.

The name Freddie also has a special meaning because my husband is called Richard Frederick and his father is called Richard Frederick and his grandfather is called Fredrick so calling our son ‘Freddie’ would continue with the tradition but with a modern twist.  We chose Leigh as a middle name as my father’s middle name is Leigh, as was his fathers, so again we were continuing with tradition for my side of the family. The suitability of the name was reinforced when we found out its meaning of ‘peaceful ruler’ and knowing he is now at peace and ruling over our family keeping us safe.

When we were told Freddie had passed I don’t think we even thought for a second that he would be called anything else.  This was the name we had given him whilst growing in my womb and he would have known that.  When we met Freddie, we knew that he suited the name 100% and there was no doubt in our mind.  It was the perfect name for our perfect boy. x

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One thought on “Day 2: Identity (Capture Your Grief 2013)

  1. Nic, I can’t imagine how difficult this process must be for you, but I also hope that it helps you heal. Freddie will always be a part of you, and will have a special place as your first born but I hope that in time you have a couple of other little ones running around xx You are both so strong and our thoughts are with you daily xxxx

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