I find it quite sad, but comforting, that my last blog post entitled ‘Baby Bromley‘ was written the very day before Freddie passed and the day I went into labour. I had been meaning to update my blog with the news of the impending arrival for months but only managed to get down to blogging on Thursday 15th August.
If I had known what the next 24 hours would bring I would have stepped away from the computer and spent those hours bonding with Freddie in what would be the last few hours we spend together. Reading the blog post now I love how innocent and full of aspiration and excitement I sound. I am glad I captured that moment and can remind myself of the joy of not knowing what I now know.
Although we never got to see Freddie open his eyes, cry his first cry or smile his first smile, we did get to meet him on Friday 16th August, 10.27pm when he arrived into our lives, and that is an honour that can never be taken away. In the blog post, I wrote about the many different reasons why I was looking forward to the birth of Freddie. Looking back at these now I can say we experienced over half of them including the joy of seeing his face for the first time, introducing him to our families, having him join our lives, touching him for the first time, seeing what he looked like and our reactions to his arrival.
Now all we have is a lock of hair, some footprints/handprints and a handful of photographs, but what can never been taken away from us is his memory. Freddie Leigh Bromley will never be forgotten and will be a part of our family forever. He is my son and I am his mother and that will never change. Since his passing we have tried to honour his memory in several ways including setting up a memorial page, placing a hibiscus blue bird plant in my mother’s garden, lighting a candle from 10.27pm to 10.34pm on the 16th of each month, arranging a memorial plaque, commissioning a necklace and pin of his footprints and arranging for a new baby print to be designed.
We recently found out that October is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is the official Remembrance Day to promote support, education and awareness for those who are suffering or may know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant. October 15th is a day when all grieving parents can come together and be surrounded by love and support from their friends and families, a day where the community can better understand their pain and learn how to reach out to those grieving. A day to reflect on the loss yet embrace the love.
I have therefore decided to take part in ‘Capture Your Grief‘ during the month of October set up by Carly Marie Project Heal in honour of Freddie’s memory. It is a time when people from the baby loss community around the world can capture their grief as part of a photographic challenge with the aim of helping to heal. Each day of the month is given a subject to inspire the participant.
The rules are very flexible but my aim is to take a new picture on my iPhone for every one of the subjects and share them each day as a new blog post. I will include some background information for each photograph including where it was taken, why and with whom. I know some subjects will be easier than others but I am looking forward to thinking creatively each day. At the end of the month I aim to make a photographic montage of all 31 pictures.
On October 15th the subject is ‘Wave of Light’. This is because on this day everyone is invited to light a candle at 7pm in all time zones across the world. The aim is that if everyone lights a candle at 7pm and lets it burn for at least one hour, there will be a continuous wave of light over the entire world. We will be taking part in this by lighting Freddie’s memorial candle for an hour and placing it by the hibiscus blue bird plant at mum’s house and spending those 60 minutes with family thinking about him. I will cherish the memories each day brings and feel taking part in ‘Capture Your Grief‘ and the ‘Wave of Light‘ will help keep Freddie’s memory alive. I hope you like the photographs and enjoy going on this creative memorial journey with us.
“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.”
President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
A memorial page has been set up for FREDDIE from which you can light a candle, send a thought or donate to SANDS (stillbirth & neonatal death charity) in memory of Freddie and to help support parents like us whose baby has died around the time of birth –