I’m innocent, I contested!

“Not only do Rik and Nicole have a love for theatre and music but they also have something else in common………they have both been arrested!”

Wow thanks dad for embarrassing your youngest daughter and new son-in-law on their wedding day in front of all their friends!

My arrest is definitely a good story to tell the grandchildren so I thought I would share it with you. One Easter holiday whilst over in Guernsey during Uni holidays, me and a group of my friends organised a Wednesday night out in town. Back then Wednesdays were the new Fridays and always ended up with a trip to one of Guernsey’s finest nightclubs.

I don’t really recall much about the events in town but the action all kicked off once we left. A friend, to be known as designated driver, suggested to me and two other friends that we get a lift with him to his house to pick up some duty-free he had purchased earlier that day and head down to a beach car park. Sounds a bit dodgy I know but the intention was to have a bit of Dutch courage to then go for a swim in the sea (a stupid idea, I know). We all agreed and even brought a guitar along to entertain ourselves. As the duty-free whisky started to take effect we seemed to skip the stage where we were capable to go for a swim to us singing Paul McCartney’s “Hey Jude” in a slurry mess sounding more like……

“Hey Dude”!

Not surprisingly representatives from the local constabulary turned up at around 4am and politely asked if we could move on. Still can’t understand why our dulcet tones weren’t entertaining them but nevertheless we agreed and they left. Only I think we forgot the bit where we were meant to get up and walk home as at around 6am our friends at the local constabulary popped by (obviously to hear an encore) and reminded us that we were meant to be going home! We politely apologised and managed to get ourselves on our feet and even walking (well slightly stumbling if I’m honest) up the road to home as they drove off. We had not got more than a few 20 metres up the road, when our friends/fans returned (they had obviously forgotten to ask for our autographs). They then told us that they had apparently just been informed that the beach kiosk we were nearby had been broken into and as we were in close proximity were going to be arrested and taken to the station for questioning!

I couldn’t believe it. I remember hearing them telling us our rights and that was it, I was gone! An uncontrollable sobbing mess. With panic and shock my brain literally froze and as I was put in the back of the van with the others, I suddenly, and honestly, couldn’t remember anything about the night. Where had we been? What had we been doing? I panicked even more and my friends did their best to calm me down. How could they think it was us? We didn’t have lilos stuffed up our jumpers or copious amounts of sun hats on or anything!

We arrived at the station and were all de-shoed, fingerprinted and put in separate cells. I was still wailing at this point and could hardly get a word out. I remember the smell of the disinfected cell was over powering and that one of my friends decided to sing to me from their cell to try to cheer me up. I wasn’t going to be happy any time soon! I was offered a drink and I remember asking for tea and being surprised that my only option was water in a plastic cup which was handed to me through the cell door shutter. What did I think, that this was room service! They said I could make a phone call but declined as I really didn’t want to worry anyone unnecessarily, especially when I knew we were innocent. As I sat in that cell I couldn’t help but notice my increasing need to go to the toilet. The toilet was to the side of the cell and there was no way that they were going to see me pee, so somehow I managed to keep it in for over three hours!

By 9am I had stopped wailing, the singing had stopped and I was getting sleepy and in dire need for my bed and a comforting hug from my mum. They opened my cell door and invited me to ‘Question Time’ with them and now sleepy, sobering up and getting slightly annoyed Nicole. They had kept me last, as my friends all waited for me in reception. I was allowed to go after our chat and I remember just collapsing into the arms of my three friends where I broke down.

It was now light outside and we all had to make our way home. I didn’t have any money on me and was dying for the toilet (remember I had been holding it in for over 3 hours)! Why I thought it would be a good idea to walk to my sister’s place of work I don’t know. I didn’t quite get the comforting welcome I was expecting. She recalls smelling me as I walked up the stairs into reception where her desk was. She politely ushered me out and grabbed a lift for me home with one of her friends passing by and apologised for my state.

I got home and collapsed into my duvet and shut my eyes and went off into a deep sleep. A few hours later I woke to find my mother sitting on my bed. She had come home in her lunch hour to see me and check I was okay. I can’t describe the feeling seeing her gave me. I felt I couldn’t love my mother more than that exact moment. She gave me a huge hug, reassured me that she knew it wasn’t us and didn’t show that she was disappointed I had got myself in a bit of a pickle. She simply picked up my clothes to wash the horrible disinfectant smell away and left me to sleep.

Sadly I am still, to this day, not deemed ‘innocent’ because they didn’t find and charge anyone for the ‘break in’! It’s definitely a night I will never forget and a story to tell the grand kids.

So the moral of this story is ‘don’t drink’, ‘don’t hang around beach kiosks in the early hours’ and ‘don’t take for granted your innocence’!

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